A Man's Secret Records 16 TCHB-058

"Humanity is punished with the penalty of freedom"—that's what Sartre said. We are chosen every day. The freedom to be chosen. Like breathing, I'm processing material today too. Is this work? Is it joy? Is it escapism? Or is it an extension of the revelation God gave me? No one knows. Not even I. Reason and erection are said to be born from the same brain. So, who can blame this tormenting heart? What comes into my view is perfect flesh. Methodical steps, decisive actions, the irresistible silence of women. The older man's aesthetic eye has reached the realm of art. I used to hate it. But coming back to my senses, I find myself worshipping it. People say contempt is the opposite of aspiration, and it's true. I reacted with my whole body to the material of that man I once thought was "the worst." It's as if my body forgave him before my soul.